'my new year's resolution is to start working out'
i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because “i didnt show her the knitting programme” and i was like what
and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns
my grandma is 82
The street finds its own uses.
when your friend tells you about their crush
when you have sex with your friend’s crush
cats are squishy cartoon friends that live in your house with you and do rad stunts. if they like you they vibrate at you very loudly. this is somehow a real animal
when you really hate the fuck out of someone but you cant say shit because everyone else loves them and you know deep down in your cold dead heart that they’re a terrible person
My cousin came out to his mum by baking a cookie and writing “GAY” on it with icing and then went up to her and said “you are what you eat” then he ate the motherfucking cookie and if that’s not the best way to come out idk what is